OPENING NIGHT!

LDSIBGVLOWUYB CIQWENCILWRGBLUABCWKEMNGUYlnivgiyerbnviuenwgmslkvm cwiorbhiyrtnvaw!!!!!!

This is it! The kids perform in front of a live audience for the first time - this afternoon! AH! I could barely sleep last night I was so nervous. Yesterday we had a pretty sloppy run-through, but I think they are ready. I am so proud of them. AHHHH! I just want everything to go smoothly.....please please please.

Rough

One of our kids came to camp and couldn't sit down. At first I thought she was just being annoying, but she was actually unable to sit. She had to lie on her stomach all day and couldn't do any of our dances. At one point she lifted her shirt on accident, uncovering a bunch of purple bruises on her stomach. I asked her what was wrong and she said she fell. I talked to the supervisor of our partner program and he says she really did fall, but it's disturbing and I'm still debating what I should do about it. My heart just aches for these kids....especially when I get frustrated at them for losing focus or forgetting to memorize their lines because WHAT AM I THINKING?! Of course they can't memorize their lines. It's nearly impossible when they have such troubled homes.

On a completely different note.......here is my favorite camper quote to date:

Alexis (7 yrs old): Last night my little brother (2 yr old) dreamed that he was Martin Luther King Jr.

................................oh wait, no..........that was Elmo.

Circus!

Only 8 more rehearsals until the show. The kids did their first run-through today and I was quite impressed. They are forgetting a lot of lines, but they were able to stumble through it without a lot of help, which is a good sign. Tomorrow we are building the set and taking them to the circus!

Made in Asia

So it turns out the little boy's Aunt was lying! The triplets saw the boys running around the neighborhood the other day. This makes me even more sad for the boys because I think they really liked camp, but it wasn't the "cool" thing to do. UGH. So dumb.

The girls were so hilarious on the ride to camp today. I went on the freeway for the first time and D pointed to the cars ahead and said, "I've always wondered who is at the very front of the freeway. Someday, when I'm grown, I'm going to wake up really early and be the first one in front of everyone." Her sister jumped in saying, "Yeah! I've always wondered that too! Also, how did all of these streets get here? It must have taken FOREVER to make them......like at least 30 years, right?" I'm around kids so often now that I started thinking, "YEAH. When WERE these roads made? It must have been a million years ago."

Then S started talking about how everything she owns seems to be made in China to which D said, "Yeah, why can't something be made in Asia or Egyptian or something???"

Things to think about, guys.

Big smiles

This week has been so crazy and the wedding hasn't even happened yet. I had to skip work on Wednesday to throw the bachelorette party and - of course - shit went down at the camp while I was gone. The Reverend that helps me transport the kids called to say that our oldest boy and lead character got in a fight with his Aunt and had to move to Washington with his dad THAT DAY. I couldn't believe it. I almost cried. He was so excited about learning his lines and he just got completely ripped from his home. It was absolutely heartbreaking. It also meant that his little brother, our youngest camper, wasn't going to come to camp anymore either. He was by far the funniest little kid ever. I am so sad.

Anyway, I came back to work at the end of camp today after the Bridesmaids Luncheon and the kids all rushed over to give me a hug. I wasn't wearing my couselor clothes so they thought I was very glamorous and grabbed at my hair a lot. They all wanted to show me the new dance they learned while I was away. It was SO ADORABLE. Seriously. Everyone was smiling ear to ear as they danced. Even the little boys were enthusiastic (they always act like they hate performing). I started to tear up as they finished the song. They were so proud of themselves and so excited to show me what they had learned. I just can't believe these kids could barely talk to each other two weeks ago. Moments like those make this camp worthwhile.

shut up

Certain people are determined to be unhappy. No matter what you do to please them, they find a way to stay completely miserable. I always feel like the person responsible for making sure that everyone else is having a good time. Maybe it's the big sister in me or maybe it's just my personality. Dan and I talked about it at work this morning. He and I are very similar in this respect. We are generally happy and positive people. Other people, are not. It's annoying. It's even more annoying because I feel like it's my job to make it better and it's not my job! Why do I feel that way??

Bastille Day

My best friend is getting married in 6 days and I am a bridesmaid in her wedding. 6 days. I can't believe it! In less than a year, they hope to have a child. It's so strange to me. I'll be going out to a bar while they'll be at home with a baby. Completely weird.

eww

This theatre smells like rotten sandwiches.

Germans

When my brothers and I were little we used to play a game called Mary & Joseph (hmmm....wonder where we got those names...). In the game we were orphans running away from Nazis. My mom eventually changed "Nazis" to "nuns" because we were screaming "Nazi!" in public and that wasn't going over so well. We had no idea what Nazis were, but we knew they were bad.

Yesterday I was driving three of our campers from Compton to the theatre and they were chatting with each other in the back seat. Occasionally as they were talking, the boys would randomly say, "German" and the conversation would continue. It happened a bunch of times so I asked the oldest boy, Tyquone, why they were doing that. He explained by saying, "Whenever someone says something really stupid, we say 'German' and hit them in the head." I asked him why and he said it was just something they always did.

Interesting.

Umbrella (ella ella ella)

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camp camp camp

Tomorrow we start the theatre camp that I'm heading up. I am nervous. We took an infant/child CPR course today. I'm really glad I'm certified now, but I do not ever want to do CPR on anyone. Did you know that if you blow too hard into a person's mouth, the air goes into the stomach and the person vomits? I had no idea that could happen. Then you not only have an unconsciousness problem, you also have a choking on vomit problem and there is an entirely different procedure for choking.

Anyway, I'm nervous and I hope nobody chokes or passes out tomorrow. As long as kids show up and we all get out alive, I will consider camp a success.

Anonymous M.D.

A couple of months ago, I read an interesting book called "Unprotected: A Campus Psychiatrist Reveals How Political Correctness in Her Profession Endangers Every Student." My Catholic/socially conservative friend recommended it to me, so I assumed the subject would lean in that direction, but I was determined to keep an open mind and started reading. You know when you find out about something amazing and you feel like you have to tell EVERYBODY what you have learned...? That's what happened to me. The author, Anonymous M.D., paints such an accurate picture of the college experience in today’s world - it's incredible. I want every woman I know to read this. She uses medical evidence to argue that the American Psychiatric Association is overly concerned with being politically correct, which ultimately forces psychiatrists to focus on the physical well-being of young college women rather than their emotional well-being. She discusses fertility, abortion, STDs, religion...pretty much everything. The best thing about the book is that she seems to understand my generation and knows how to argue with us. We've been taught to rely on fact and she uses nothing but scientific evidence to support her main points. The only real downside is that she mentions that she is religious. I didn't like that because it is completely unnecessary and probably turns a lot of people off, which is a shame because the book is fascinating. Here is a quick overview from the American Enterprise Institute for Public Policy Research (I shortened it a bit):

According to a 2004 survey by the American College Health Association, nearly half of all college students report having felt so depressed at school that they have had trouble functioning. The National Survey of Counseling Center Directors revealed last year that nine percent of all students sought help at their college mental health center. Many suffer eating disorders, self-mutilation, binge-drinking, the stress of boyfriends, exams, and broad-spectrum angst.

In this sobering expose, Dr. A argues that the culture on campus--and in her profession--is so steeped in political correctness that it hamstrings the ability of therapists to help college students. The doctor's frustration steams off every page: "We ask about child abuse, but not last week's hook-ups," she laments. "We want to know how many cigarettes and coffees she's had each day, but not how many abortions in her past. We consider the stress caused by parental expectations and rising tuition, but neglect the anguish of herpes, the hazards of promiscuity, and the looming fertility issues for women who put their career first."

In the training workshops she attends, Dr. A would like to see less focus on sexual experimentation and social oppression in the counseling of young people and more consideration of meaning, hope, and purpose. "Many would benefit from being less self-absorbed, not more," she says. Indeed, the general sensibility on campus, as the author paints it, is a jumble of mixed messages.

A cardiologist, she argues, feels perfectly justified in offering judgments about a patient's sedentary lifestyle. The truth may hurt, but no one worries that a fat man with hypertension will be offended by being told he should lose weight and exercise. But if a mental health physician has the gall to suggest to a young female patient displaying serious symptoms of depression that she might improve the quality of her life if she changes her casual attitude toward sex—well, that crosses the line. That's a value judgment and not medicine, she is likely to be told. Anonymous begs to differ. "I argue as a scientist," she says, "with biological facts, not biblical ones. Forget Leviticus—as you'll see, my data is from The New England Journal of Medicine and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention."

Anyway, I thought of this book again last night, went online to see how people are reviewing it and made some frustrating discoveries. Judging from their comments, it seemed that most of the reviewers hadn’t even read it. They were immediately turned off by the fact that the author argues that men and women are fundamentally different. As a result, they completely write everything off. I was so mad.

What made me the most upset is that I had to try really hard to find reviews at all. This book isn't sold in stores and hasn't gotten a lot of attention. everyone should read it, especially if you're still in college. It really rang true for me and if anything, it provides for some interesting discussion.

Weird occurrences at the Lyric lately...

Lady walks in with extremely spaced-out look on her face and smells of alcohol. She asks me if we are a counseling service. I tell her we are a theatre. She looks around. Looks at Dan. Asks me again and I tell her again that we are a theatre. She leaves. Five seconds later she walks back in. Same look on her face. She asks me if we are a counseling service in the exact same tone as if she has never seen me in her life. Seriously, it was like her memory was erased - so friggin WEIRD.

Lady walks in with pile of socks...
To me: "Do you want to buy some socks?"
me: "No thanks"
To Dan: "Do YOU want to buy some socks?"
dan: "Um, no...thank you"
Lady leaves theatre.

Man with cowboy hat walks into theatre and immediately goes to the back. Dan and I follow. Man is clearly in the bathroom. Comes out of bathroom and walks toward front door without looking at either of us.
Me: "Excuse me sir, can I help you? Did you just need to use the bathroom?"
Man (exposing a mouth with no teeth): "Yeah. Unless you wanna sit down and talk about it."
Me: speechless

Lady comes to the door with 5 yr old kid.
Lady: Is this 520 North La Brea?
Me: yes, this is the Lyric Theatre
Lady: 5-2-0 North La Brea?
Me: Yes
Lady: I need to talk to Hazel
Me: Sorry, you must have the wrong address. I don't know a Hazel
(shows me a piece of paper with Hazel's name and number on it)
Lady: Can you call Hazel and tell her I am here?
Me: No...I'm sorry...I don't....
(awkward silence)
Me: You can call her on our phone if you like...
(She gets on the phone, calls Hazel, it's ringing, she puts the phone over to me)
Lady: Can you tell Hazel I'm here?
Me (thinking): WTF?! WHO IS HAZEL???

Guy comes into the theatre and pays for a $25 ticket in CHANGE. (not that weird, but wanted to write it cuz it's annoying)

OK......be prepared because this next story is BY FAR the strangest occurrence to date:

A man runs inside during the day. Dan calls out to see if he needs something. The man is in a huge hurry and says, "Can i PLEASE use your bathroom??" and rushes to the back. Without a chance to say no (we are not a public toilet!), Dan watches him run to the back.
Neither of us think anything of it until later when an audience member comes up to Dan and tells him that we need to seriously clean up the bathroom area.
Dan goes back and there is SHIT EVERYWHERE. Not kidding. e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e. we are talking IN THE SINK, guys.....in...the....sink.

WTF??????? Who runs in, shits everywhere and leaves? I mean really!?!?!!? Poor Dan had to clean it. Seriously....so ridiculous.

Darby Downer

I recently went to a party and had a pretty long conversation with a girl who is currently a sophomore in college. We talked about the usual stuff like jobs, majors, our goals, etc etc…..all the stuff you always feel like you need to say when you initially meet someone. It was a pretty normal interaction, nothing out of the ordinary, but for some reason, I can’t get the conversation out of mind.

She was talking about all of her plans for the future – she wants to go abroad for this amount of time and study in Washington D.C. for this amount of time and get this and this degree and go to this grad school (fyi - when you say it repeatedly, “this” becomes a weird word)…..and the whole time her excitement was making me feel so very old. I was just like her when I was a sophomore! I had everything planned out years ahead of time. Then she asked me about my dreams and aspirations. I told her that I have the job that I’ve wanted to have for years and I’m pretty happy with it. The conversation suddenly went silent. There was sort of a “that’s it?!” look on her face, like I should have something more to say. I felt like I should elaborate in some way to make my life somehow more…important? Legitimate? I wanted to say something like, “but I plan to go to Nigeria to work at an orphanage and then after that I’m going to get my Masters at Stanford and then blah blah blah (insert really cool life things here).”

As an insecure 20-something going through the usual what-the-hell-am-I-doing-with-my-life phase (well, more of a constant state of being than a phase), I realized that I’ve been feeling weird lately because I’m no longer looking for the next thing to do. School is just a period of time where you wait for real life and since I’m not in school anymore, I’m in real life and I’m not waiting anymore. This sensation is so weird and new. I’ve been in school for 17 years and I don’t really know how to act now that it’s over. My immediate reaction is to apply to grad school and postpone the inevitable. Everybody’s doing it, so I probably should too. But I am basically happy with my job and that’s a really good thing. I’m not saying I am completely satisfied at all times and have no desire to do anything else, but I am essentially happy at the moment with my professional life (personal life aside). I think it just feels strange not to be applying for something or studying for some enormous test.

Maybe I am just paranoid (and that is probably the case because she was a really nice girl), but I felt like this girl was thinking, “I’m not going to be like her, I am going to do great things.” But I wanted to say to her, “I AM doing great things!” She might have all these grand plans, but are a thousand amazing dreams better than one? Her excitement annoyed me. I wanted to tell her to chill out, but then why would I want to squash such happy (if naïve) optimism? I’m not Scrooge and I’m not bitter……but everything that I’ve typed so far would suggest that I am bitter. I am mad at her optimism and he 5-year plan and her plans to go abroad.

So I guess what I am saying is that maybe this conversation disturbed me so much because I’m not as happy with my job as I initially thought. Or maybe I am happy, but I’m just feeling restless because I’ve been trained (throughout my time in school) to constantly search for the next project (“on to the next club!” Corey would say). I don’t know, but I’m still thinking about it.

Sundays

Sundays are so depressing to me, especially when it's grey outside. I have so much stuff I have to clean right now, but no motivation to do so. Ugh, it's already 4pm. I haven't done anything productive. Good job me! Why am I blogging right now?

On the subject of relationships

I hate when people drop all their friends when they start a relationship. That's what you do when you're in high school and you're too naive to know how dumb that is. I mean, really. We're old enough now to understand that there is a balance. Being with each other 24 hours a day just can't be healthy.

Besides, when you get dumped or you break it off or cheat on each other, or i don't know....move to opposite sides of the world, you'll suddenly realize how few friends you've kept and then you'll be sad when none of them come running back....and you don't want that.

A year later

Wow. It's been almost two years since I have been on this thing. How different things are today than they were then! All of the seniors at USC are finished with classes in 4 days. 4 DAYS! That means it's been a year since I've graduated! An entire year of adulthood. NUTS.

Lots of things have changed.....I have a baby cousin now. Her name is Cocorro, which means "heart" in Japanese. It's hilarious to watch her grow. All of my other cousins are my age, so I can't get enough of how small she is. When you watch her, you can actually see her brain developing. She had her first real Easter this year and sort of understood the concept of hunting for eggs. We had to show her where they were, but she seemed to have fun grabbing them and putting them in her mouth. So did Cookie (our dog) who seemed to use the eggs as a elaborate scheme to get into the house. She would take an egg in her mouth, go up to the glass doors so I could see that she had an egg, and then dart into the house once i came outside to grab the egg from her. You'd think I would be able to outsmart old Mrs. Cookie and shut the door after me, but.....it's like in 101 Dalmatians where all the owners are exactly like their pets....i'm kinda slowwwww like Cookie too.

Other things have changed, but they're pretty normal changes.....new house, new job, new stuff going on....it's ok, i don't need to tell you all of it. Anyway, I think I'll start keeping this up again on those nights where I find myself sitting and thinking too much so you'll prolly find out anyway.

I think i'll change the name of the blog though. gotta think of a good name!